Cuz I Can't Twitter

A reply for Michael Swaim.

Mr. Swaim, you wrote this:


And the answer is, no. I don’t.

For one thing, I think you missed that it was supposed to be a joke. You were still in the middle of your “battle” (I don’t know what to call it...spat?) with Dilbert guy. The person in question probably just wanted to joke with you but you didn’t notice it (understandable, btw. You were in “defense” mode and intention is hard to read from text).

Now, that’s just an assumption on my end. I don’t actually know. My conclusions are drawn, however, by the fact that they laughed off your first reply, then liked a bunch of your tweets. I used to do that with Gladstone.

It’s hard for fans and readers because you guys write/show so much of yourselves that we think we know YOU without realising you don’t know US in the slightest. To you, we could be the average dipshit, who knows?


So I thought I’d just give you my two cents in a format I’m familiar with (writing a ton of words for free without an editor to hone in my ADD or clean up my tangents).

And even if I thought I DID have a reply, I would probably save it. You’re one of my favorite members on Cracked (and definitely the one I relate to most), but I decided a while back that I wasn’t going to fight online any more.


That was your fight, and I personally think you MORE THAN handled it fine.

Plus, whether you see it or not, YOU have a platform, a voice, and a following. There’s nothing I could say that wouldn’t be drown out by you, ESPECIALLY when I agree.


I doubt very seriously YOU would need ME to correct someone for you. I am not a legion of children, and you’re not a YouTuber.

But I do thank you for offering me a chance. That was super awesome. Remember how you felt when you sat with Dan to talk to Simpson’s writers? That’s how feel writing this. I do hope you read it.


Thanks again for your time. If you ever want to discuss ANYTHING, DM me.

Also, sorry for the time between tweets, I’m poor (like, if my family of four magically made 10x as much money, we’d be at the federal poverty line for a family of 3) and currently at 2G speeds.


(PS- As a gamer, I think you might like this:)

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